Goodbye
by mistmedea
Summary: How do you belong somewhere when your soul belongs to someone that left? MichiruMakoto


Hey there this small fic isn't actually mine but a dear friend asked me to publish it, I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I dont owe a thing! But that doesnt mean you can take it. Lyrics are from Goodbye my lover of James Blunt.

Goodbye

"Why?" Tears fell down of her deep sea blue eyes, soaking her face and fighting hard to put down the fire of her heart, useless task anyway, she knew with all her heart she was in love with Mako. She knew she loved her with every fiber of her soul that no matter how terribly she was feeling right now, nothing will cast that love away.

The silence. The terrible endless silence, she sobbed harder, unable to stop her heart from breaking, why if it was broken she still loved her with every piece?

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

"Why Mako? Please talk to me... please what happened? You stopped loving me?" Mako walked to her and pressed her hard to the wall, she bend and ripped a kiss off her lips.

"No more bella, just go"

"Say it, say you dont love me, say you wont take care of me"

"I can't anymore" She felt it now, the poison running through her veins, she was drowning in it, she just couldn't breath anymore, Mako was standing there looking so calmed and here she was falling apart into millions of small and stupid tears.

"Why?"

"I just dont want to get into it, go bella"

"Please Mako, please i Love you, I need you" She throw herself to her arms in a desperate attempt of holding her there, of making an eternity of this moment to never said goodbye. "You cannot go, you promised" Mako held her tight, she buried her face on her neck and kissed the mark on her neck, that mark that said she was hers.

"I loved you so much"

"Loved?" She broke apart the hug, feeling she was lefting a part of herself behind , a part she'll never use again...

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

She hold together all the strenght she had left and look right into the green eyes that somehow when she wasn't looking turned into ice. "When did you stopped loving me?"

"The day my heart dropped of my chest, the morning I woke up with no heart"

"It's funny I always thought your heart was with me, that I was suppose to hold it, and here I am and you just walk away from me..."

Again the silence, the endless silence that hurted more than words that slashed her skin like whips, that skin that was hers, that held the marks of their love battles, scars she hoped never heal, scars that she'll bear to remind the passion, just as the scars she now beared for life in her soul, scars that will remind her how it was to love till the heart breaks, till the spirit breaks till you give up your soul.

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take._

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be_

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

"Tell me Mako, where did all my dreams went? Where did all the promises you made? Tell me why no one loves me like I do? Tell me why are you leaving me, tell me why WHY I DONT DESERVE YOUR LOVE!" New tears replaced the old ones and this ones tasted like the posion it was now running though her veins.

"Bella just go"

"Fine" She surrender to this destiny, there was nothing worth fighting for anymore anyway. "Make love to me beautiful, one last time... " Why was she asking this? Was really the need of burning her scent in her brain so huge? Was really the need of her touch birgger than the pride she had left? Yes, yes it was...

"No...I think is better to just part away..."

"Im not even good for that? At least your other lovers had had a fairwell"

She turned around locking herself in a world, she knew she will never reach, her heart was there with her...

"Just let me make it clear... you're leaving me cause I Love you? Cause I've gave you everything you asked for? Cause I trusted you blindly?"

"Bella Im just not good for you...just go"

"What if you are? Maybe you're not good for me but you are right, Mako, I Love you Mako I need you" Her words bounced in the silence again, she was there looking at her but her soul was no longer there. "Goodbye Beautiful"

She thought for a second picking her stuff around the house, but she realized it was impossible to fit in a suitcase the love she had, the tenderness, the good memories of their meals in the candle lights, the good morning kisses, the short nights spent in each other arms, and her heart, why will she want it back? Maybe it was better to leave it all here. So she tuned around and went out without looking back, she went out in the snow storm all alone with nowhere to go, this house left behind was no longer her home.

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

She smiled, the sun was going down and the spring surounded her, she looked in the distance the smile of her girlfriend, and she smiled back at her as the small girl keep trying unsuccesfully to flight a kite. She chill in the park bench thinking how much she loved spring when she turned around attracted by some unknown force...

"How are you?"

"Mako..." She hadnt changed at all... course it had only been a month, even though for her each day had been an eternity. "What... are you ok? You need anything?

She smiled at her and sat down. "Im fine, I've been thinking, working... how are you?"

How was she? "Im fine..."

"Good"

"Your girlfriend is cute"

"Yes she is, what have you been up to Mako?"

"I've been trying to find where I belong"

"Any sucess?"

"Not really"

She wanted to ask her so many things, to demand a repair for her pain, to cry until she was pure again, to kiss her so badly, to touch her skin, to tell her she had waited every second of every endless night to be with her, that everything was forgiven, that she loved her so much, but all she could do was smile. "Maybe you dont have to look, you're pretty and smart, what else could you need"

"A home for starters" She looked again to the distance, trying to contain her pain. A home, she will never have one again, she will never give it all again, she had learned the hard way sometimes is better not to have a heart at all.

"You'll find one" She stand up "You're easy to love"

Mako laughed, with that shinying smile, so hers. "I don't think so"

"It's true, the problem is you don't like to be loved" Why she sounded so bitter?

"Im working on it bella" Bella... she hadn't felt beautiful in so long. She nodded at Mako and looked into the distance again. "Go with her"

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

_And I will bear my soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

She looked at her with her blue eyes filled with tears again, and Mako hold her hand... and she waited, she waited again in the middle of the silence for a love confession that never came, she bend and kisses her lips soflty... why? she needed it... but then she left go of her hand and turned around. "Goodbye Mako"

"Bye bella"

And she walked away towards the woman that loved her, to the one that will never let her down, feeling tainted, cause she just discovered she still had a heart, but that heart was beating for HER.

"Is something wrong Michiru?"

She looked into the kind black eyes and shook her head. "Im tired"

"Let's go home Hime-chan" She nodded tirely, was it really worth it pointing that house was not her home? What for? she knew perfectly well some people like her simply didn't belong, How do you belong somewhere when your soul belongs to someone? To someone that left? "Hime-chan are you ok? Baby ... I love you"

A million of spines got stucked in her lungs. "Me too" And she felt the blood running out, but she had set her mind, she'll just follow the stream and eventually one day she'll reach the ocean.

You never chose who owns your soul.

The end


End file.
